Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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