She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
