Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
