u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
