At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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