does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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