this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
