So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
