Already got asked if we're dating
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
