david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
