Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
