We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
