Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
