Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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