Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
