I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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