I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
