Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
