What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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