Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
