why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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