you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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