think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
