he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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