At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
