I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
