Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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