I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
