Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
