butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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