I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it's like iHOP with fire
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
