After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
