Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So vagazzling was a success
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
