The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
