he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize