The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
