So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
