Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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