i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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