At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just found a bag of teeth...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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