Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
