I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
