then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
