Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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