My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
