Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
