I love having hate sex.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
FUCK WHALES
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
