Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dicks are not precious.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
