Come see our sink grown plant.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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