all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
