Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
