I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
